


Keeps Going And Going... And Going

by angeredthoughts



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Five Times, M/M, This is just crack, You Have Been Warned, i blame coffee for this, this was a bad idea
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-30
Updated: 2013-07-30
Packaged: 2017-12-21 20:47:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/904748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angeredthoughts/pseuds/angeredthoughts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They just keep appearing!</p><p>A.K.A.</p><p>Derek's fear of rabbits and the five times it was funny and the one time it made sense.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Keeps Going And Going... And Going

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bwitani](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bwitani/gifts).



> This is entirely unbeta'ed. So you know.

 

**I.**

The phone call came in at 3 in the morning and the terror that leaked through the phone had Stiles up and getting dressed within seconds. He took a moment to think about where his life was if he was in a rush to save a big bad Alpha, from something that had him so terrified he actually sounded like a six year old girl. In fact, he was absolutely positive there had been tears. It was a wonder he was still alive. Still, he grabbed his keys, tucked his wallet in his pocket and leapt into his jeep. Tires screeched as he reversed out of the drive way before he was speeding to the newly renovated Hale House. He just desperately hoped whatever it was; he wasn’t in need of anything sharp to get rid of it. As tired as he was, he’d probably just end up hurting himself.

Skidding to a stop, he leapt from the jeep and kicked the door shut behind him. He sprinted up the steps and slid to a stop inside the kitchen, freezing at the sight. Derek was perched on the counter, making a valiant effort to climb into a cupboard. His eyes were wide with terror and he very much looked like he was crying; from fear. Stiles looked around, confused before Derek spotted him and let out a wordless cry of relief, then a small shiver of terror.

“…Derek?”

“It’s there! Get rid of it!”

Baffled, he moved forward and paused, staring in shock. He looked at it then lifted his eyes to Derek, seeing he was not even close to kidding and looked back down. He didn’t mean to, really, but he couldn’t help it. It started with a snort and he clapped a hand over his mouth but he couldn’t control it. He burst out into laughter and covered his face, trying desperately not to mock the Alpha’s very real fear, yet completely unable to help himself.

It was a rabbit. A fluffy white rabbit with a little black spot on its ear; it was stupidly adorable… and Derek had finally managed to push himself into a cupboard, hiding from it. He snorted, loudly, and lifted it into his arms, leaving the house, still snickering, “I’ll hop to it then…” he cracked, cackling as he let the rabbit free far enough from the house.

He didn’t dare enter the house once more, knowing for certain Derek would kill him for his inability to stop laughing.

 

* * *

 

  
**II.**

Fucking witches and their fucking spells. He was desperately trying to catch them all, while the pack either laughed or helped. Derek had locked himself in the closet and refused to even consider looking out until they were all gone. He wasn’t even certain he was breathing; he took a moment to toss the blanket the pack used for puppy piles in with him, just to make sure he would. An Alpha suffocating himself to death was simply unreasonable; also awkward to explain.

It had started off as a normal day. No one had done anything stupid and they had been celebrating his eighteenth birthday. There had been drinking and laughing; presents and cake; all the sorts of things experienced on a birthday. Then the witch had shown up, cackling with one of those stupid hats, proclaiming she was going to steal his spark. It had ended in a rather awkward battle. Scott was still blinking with a third eye that Deaton swore would disappear after he’d slept. Derek had been the one to rip her throat out (with his teeth) and then… rabbits. Lots of rabbits; he was pretty certain half the rabbit population was inside the house at the moment.

Derek’s shriek of fear should not have been so damn amusing, but it was.

Four hours later, they had finally caged the little bastards when Derek suddenly let out a second shriek and sprinted from the house, clutching the blanket to his face. Stiles leaned in and looked, blinking slowly, “We missed two,” he stated lamely, watching two rabbits get it on.

Scott looked in over his shoulder and snorted, “Well… looks like there will be more bunnies in the future.”

 

* * *

 

  
**III.**

It had been a few months before another incident presented itself. He didn’t even think about it. It was almost Easter; there was a petting zoo in the mall for the children. He walked by it all the time. Today he had gone with Derek to pick up some potatoes and some chocolate so they could make dinner for the pack. He also maybe needed to replace Derek’s shirt after he’d ripped it trying to tug it off his stupidly sculpted body. It never, not even once, crossed his mind, to avoid the center of the mall, where the petting zoo was placed. Where the rabbits were.

Until Derek freaked out and started kicking rabbits.

They had to pay for all the rabbits that he’d kicked and were banned from the mall. At least this time he hadn’t shrieked. Though he did refuse to come out of his room until after dinner was finished and he’d melted the chocolate bunnies…

 

* * *

 

  
**IV.**

Okay, he was getting sick of rabbits. It seemed like a big cosmic prank that he didn’t get. He did not know why his boyfriend was afraid of rabbits but he did know this time it was entirely Scott’s fault. He’d brought a small littler of bunnies to the house, having stopped there before taking them to some school or something. He had stopped paying attention when Derek had crawled under the table and clutched to his leg. He wouldn’t have minded if Derek’s claws hadn’t been buried in his calf.

“SCOTT!”

“SORRY!”

Five minutes passed and he peered down, “They are gone now, love.”

“Doesn’t matter… I can still smell them…breeding…they keep… they keep… breeding…”

 

* * *

 

  
**V**.

Now he was hopping for his life. He should’ve been running, but he’d pissed off the fairies and now he was hopping from the love of his life. He really shouldn’t be allowed to handle negotiations, but the fairies refused to work with the wolves and they had sent him. Now he was a rabbit… as was Mrs. McCall, Allison, Chris and his father. And they were all fleeing from Derek. They had no idea where they were going, but they were aware stopping for any reason was going to result in Derek kicking them out of his territory.

One hour later, they were chasing Derek, annoyed with his attempts to kill them. It was more then funny. Derek was fully transformed and kept glancing back at the tiny pack of fluffy bunnies that were chasing him. He had pissed himself, twice, as they chased after him. He wasn’t sure when they had finally gotten fed up and started chasing him, but he did know he was going to switch every battery in the house to Energizer, out of revenge.

It took until sunrise for the spell to reverse. It took three days to talk Derek out of the cave he hid in to escape them.

 

* * *

  
**\+ I.**   


He got it now. He was climbing into the cupboard himself as Derek hid on top of the cupboards. He had tried to explain, but the entire pack got it. They had thought the bite had never taken but it totally had and it was the most terrifying thing in the entire world. He managed to close the cupboard door and dutifully ignored the panicked screams of terror as he hummed the Star Wars theme to himself, trying to drown it all out.

Were-Rabbits were a thing and apparently, Lydia was one. He thought it sounded cute, until she had proven her teeth were sharper then the wolves and she was not above trying to eat one of them. She had the tail, the ears, the cute whiskers; she also had the most terrifying set of teeth ever seen. He’d seen photos of sharks with fewer teeth. It defied logic that they all fit into her mouth, but he wasn’t opening the door of his hiding place to see if she could close her mouth.

He knew where Derek was, he knew Scott, Isaac and Allison were locked in a closet and he was certain the others had escaped. Everyone but Jackson was safely encased in some safe place that Lydia couldn’t get into. He knew Jackson wasn’t anywhere safe, because he’d seen Isaac kick him in the knee and leave him to her mercies.

Above him, he heard Derek, “The breeding! THE BREEDING!”

He was never, ever, going to mock Derek for his fear of rabbits, ever again.

**Author's Note:**

> I made a crack to my sister about Derek being afriad of rabbits. This is what happened.


End file.
